


Alien Romance, or the one in which Dave Strider is not in love

by ironicallyinternational



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dave muses and Kanaya and Karkat gossip, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Humor, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Quadrant Confusion, That is It, and in the end they decide it's whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicallyinternational/pseuds/ironicallyinternational
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dave had long ascertained he was not meant for alien romance.</p><p>Human romance? He didn't know how he'd do with that. His attempts at that had been centred around his ecto-sister, his aroace best friend, and his other best friend who had dated another version of him. Awkward.</p><p>Still, he figured he would have dealt better with that than with troll romance. It's not just that it's complicated, because he is a smart cookie, so if he'd bothered he'd have gotten it fairly simply- he understood the basics, anyway, no matter what he told Karkat. </p><p>And then Karkat happened."</p><p>--------------<br/>Dave thinks about quadrants whilst Kanaya and Karkat attempt to discuss the very same thing. Everything turns out much gayer than originally intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One coolkid and zero interest

**Author's Note:**

> im a sucker for davekat oh lord

Dave had long ascertained he was not meant for alien romance.

Having a childhood like his, as he was nowadays able to admit to himself, quietly, had left him kind of messed up in many was. Being emotionally stunted was just an added bonus.

So human romance? He didn't know how he'd do with that. His attempts at that had been centred around his ecto-sister, his aroace best friend, and his other best friend who had dated another version of him. Awkward.

Still, he figured he would have dealt better with that than with troll romance. It's not just that it's complicated, because he is a smart cookie, so if he'd bothered he'd have gotten it fairly simply- he understood the basics, anyway, no matter what he told Karkat. 

It was just that they were aliens- and even though after a while he'd gotten used to the grey skin and horns and pointy teeth and fluo blood and freaky troll anatomy, there were things that would never go away. Jokes that simply couldn't be translated, or references they didn't understand; the clicking and purring and growling the trolls could so easily use to convey meaning with and that he did not understand, all the little nuances that left them uneasy, unclear about things.

With Terezi, it had been a problem, but in a weird way. Dave loved Terezi- maybe not in that sense, but he did love her. Now, later, he guessed she was one of his very best friends- their easy laughter and stupid jokes balanced out the quiet musing times. Dating had been like that for a while, but there were things they said that didn't quite get the reception they wanted, and times that the easy nature made it hard to talk feelings. Dave hated being vulnerable, Terezi did too, and as thirteen, fourteen, someteen year olds, they didn't quite surpass that barrier. 

Dave didn't want it to be serious and deep. He didn't want someone to see him when he was serious and deep. 

He guessed that was what led to Terezi's increasing panic- no one to talk to, now that Rose and Kanaya were off together and Karkat was sore and wary and Dave never quite let her go there. So Gamzee had happened, and hadn't that just been godawful. 

He'd thought, 'It's a troll thing', but he'd known guiltily that even then it wasn't quite right for her. 

Still. 

They'd gotten past all that, and Terezi never held it against him. He had enough to hold against himself. 

The point was, though, that he had no interest in troll romance.  
And then Karkat happened.

Dave had not been expecting Karkat to happen to him. He'd been a vaguely amusing person to wind up, then a bratty troll to taunt, then an awkward presence after Terezi had broken up wit him. 

There's only so much you can do to avoid a person, though.

In the end, he figured Karkat had, somehow, become possibly the most important person in his life. What the hell even.

They were bros, best bros, friends for life, pleasant company, whatever. But there was the...thing, the thing that he wondered about, that he was wondering about right now: what was it really? 

Dave had gotten past that point where, like John, he practically had to wear gloves just to give a dude a hug. When you were mingling with trolls, that kind of stuff didn't really matter.

Still, he'd never considered- and Karkat was very far away from anything in that department. 

So alien romance, with Karkat? Hah. Nah.

Not one bit.

Ever.

Right.


	2. The wonderful world of kiss me dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David Elizabeth Strider has no interest whatsoever in entering that kind of relationship with anyone. No, honestly, he doesn't. If he did, though, well....
> 
> (Meanwhile, Kanaya and Karkat bicker and accidentally start a disastrous event.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spades is hot but not my kinda davekat  
> also i love kanaya and karkat as siblings shush  
> this chapter's kind of short (it's a short fic ok) but yeah

Ok. So maybe he sometimes kind of wondered about it.

There was...there was the hate thing. Kismedude. Or whatever. (Kismesitude, he knew. But still.)

Dave...Dave wasn't one for kismesitude. 

Sure, he was antagonistic. He loved riling people up and getting the upper hand. Bickering with Karkat was awesome. Snarking with Rose was great. 

But constantly being in some edgy rivalry? No.

Dave's image, so carefully cultivated, was always that of chill. Too cool for this, too cool for that, too cool for feelings, too cool for problems. Too cool to care if he lost again, too cool to feel alone. 

He knew, and he guessed by now they all did, that he was pretty damn transparent. Regular volcano, Dave was. All angry and touchy and excitable- like a lowercase Karkat, actually. 

But for all that, he wasn't going to weirdly work himself up to- what, toy with someone? Not his style. Dave tried to do only very few things passionately. He loved his friends passionately, and he hated a select few just as much. Jack Noir, Lord English; crazy fish queen lady- yeah, if he had to hate someone, it would be something like that. Himself, too, maybe, what with his martyr complex. 

Casually yet intensely hate-loving someone? Nah.

Besides, though he and Karkat were both extremely sarcastic, and though he loved bickering with him, he knew for a fact how awkward their banter would get if they had to do it that way. Acting continuously smooth around Karkat was already hard- if they were both constantly trying to be evil James Bond spy types, he gave them five minutes until they actually, physically, died of laughter. And though he was God Tier, nubby horns wasn't- sadly, he'd become rather too attached for such a stupid death to happen.

Still, he thought, rather quietly even in his own head, that sometimes there was maybe a hint of black in there. 

Sometimes, when they sparred (which Dave would never admit to having become somewhat of a challenge as Karkat improved), the easy banter turned competitive- and there, sometimes, when Karkat's eyes glinted and his tone turned mocking, Dave felt a rush of adrenaline like the troll could punch him square on the nose and wouldn't even get in trouble.

And maybe, maybe sometimes when they were doing absolutely nothing and Karkat grinned at him with sharp teeth and a sickly sweet smile, Dave got a little tiny bit scared in a good way. 

Sometimes, only sometimes, he thinks they might have made good spade dudes. 

He'd never tell Karkat that, though.

(Besides, when he hits the ground and Karkat smirks from above him, he thinks he already knows that.)

–--

“So it's not pitch, right.” Karkat says, half lazily, as he and Kanaya sit spread out on the sofa. He's got his legs in her lap, where she holds her glass of juice carefully and watches him in vague surprise.

She's so glad Karkat's gotten more...lax, she supposes, or at least around her. If she'd dared mention his quadrants to him on the meteor- or worse, before that- she could just see the tantrum happening. 

It does catch her slightly off guard, because, okay, she'd been expecting it, but she'd always imagined some kind of prelude. 

“No...? I'd rather thought so at one point, but it's true that you do...ah, like each other too much for that.” Kismesitude was all about grudging respect. As someone who had walked in multiple times on giggling heaps of knights, she was pretty sure that wasn't exactly the scenario here.

“Right.” Karkat says, frowning up at her as he motions his annoyance. “Which is...I mean, originally I'd thought so, or rather refused to think so, but like...No.” 

He stays silent for a moment, then sighs. “I don't think spades is really that great for me, anyway. I mean, sure, I hate everyone, but I only hate, like, everyone trying to kill us.” 

Kanaya nods, then ventures: “Maybe Terezi?” 

“Yeah, maybe. In a more, uh, chill kind of spades, you know?” 

Kanaya smiles at him, rather fondly. 

“You know, I am quite pleased you're at least taking the initiative to consider this.” She tells him frankly. “Dave is pretty repressed when it comes to quadrants or otherwise compromising things.”

Karkat snorts. “Tell me something I don't know.” And then, squirming: “It's not like I'm the best at sorting my own out, either.”

Kanaya can almost see the self-doubt setting in. He may have gotten better at dealing with it, really, but she doesn't think Karkat will ever completely get rid of his self-hatred, or of his martyr complex. Still, he's better now.

He's kind of faltering when he next speaks: “Plus, I mean...I'm not sure if..Hm.”

“You know, Rose and I have been trying to get you two together since the start of the meteor trip.” Kanaya tells him, flushing a bit when he turns in surprise. She pushes on: “See, Dave and Terezi was nice, but in a...sibling kind of way, we found it much more fun imagining this kind of outcome.” 

Karkat's glare makes her feel a tiny bit guilty, but she knows it's not heartfelt. 

He doesn't protest at her careful use of human terminology. Whatever the circumstances, they've both observed that the Vantas-Maryam bond is a rather peculiar one. Hurting one is practically asking for the other to descend like some raging hell-beast on the perpetrator. And sue her if she often feels like ruffling his hair, or fixing his collar, or gets twitchy when he's out of sight too long- they have a History with a capital H, and it's not like Karkat doesn't uphold his part of the deal.

Still, she grimaces a bit: “It's not like we set you up, though! I mean, perhaps we did accidentally leave you two alone a couple of times, but...”  
Karkat groans, letting his head hit the armrest with a thunk. 

“Have I mentioned that you are the most vile and despicable creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting?”

“No, I'm pretty sure you told Dave that about three hours ago.”

“I hate you.”

“Oh, so forward, Mr. Vantas.”

She barely has the time to register the grumbled “I'll show you forward” before Karkat pulls himself up and falls on top of her, knocking the wind out of her. 

The helpless giggling that emerges from the room draws Rose's attention.

“Dear me. What an undignified situatioooooo-” Her clever tone doesn't stop their shared smirk from escaping her notice, and in a moment they are all collapsed on the floor.

And then Jade comes to throw herself on the pile, and then Terezi launches herself at Vriska to do the same, and in the end they really have no chance to discuss quadrants anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blah blah tumblr etc etc comments  
> also i forgot to mention this is an after game AU so they're all like...seventeen or w/e and chilling somewhere in a new world


	3. Absolutely pale with fright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diamonds is kind of like bros, right?  
> (no)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> diamonds is cute but not my kind of davekat  
> pale kankar is the BESTEST (ok no)  
> longer chapter for some reason lmao it got out of hand

The thing was, though, that when he thought about it he usually thought of diamonds. It was the easy solution- he could deal with being bros, that was cool, that was safe. 

Still, he was aware that moirails didn't really just mean bros 5 lyfe. Bros 5 lyfe was him and John. If he ever had to pet John's hair he'd probably throw up.

He remembers that at the tense part of the meteor, when he and Terezi and Karkat were stuck in an (incredibly embarrassing, really) infernal love triangle thing and every glimpse of the Cancer's face made him sneer. He's not very proud of that period, really- Karkat acting like a possessive, bratty, annoying prick, and himself being antagonistic and purposefully negligent. It was easy at the time- tuning Karkat out as he ranted, precisely because it angered him even more.

One of the easiest ways to get him upset was to laugh at the quadrant system. Dave had a great time with that, all the “kiss me sis” and “my mate's porpoise” and other frankly terrible 'mistakes' he made. Moirails, though, moirails were great. 

My rails, moray eels, morals, meowrails, except maybe not the last one because Karkat's ranting had stopped abruptly, his scowl twisting in shock, and suddenly there was the kind of silence that makes your last words seem to echo at you. Karkat had turned sharply and ran off. Dave had stood there half guiltily, half firmly not.

And then in a dream bubble he'd walked into a cave.

At first he thought it was another furry, like that horse guy, but turns out the dead ghost troll was really just overly obsessed with cats. Way too many cat puns for him. He realizes later she might have been the 'real' Nepeta, the last one to die, because she tells him things that he's pretty sure the surviving trolls didn't want him to know.

Still, when she realizes he's “friends” with the live Karkat, her blank eyes seem to light up.

“How's Karkat doing? Is he okay? Oh, I heard- but really- I'm so worried, you know, I mean at least we're all together, but he doesn't even know-”

Dave squirms, answers her questions vaguely, and when her eyes narrow he feels like he's about to be put under arrest.

“Are you two 'friends'?” 

She pronounces it like it's a completely different language. He supposes it is.

“Uh. Well, I mean. We don't, like. Hate each other.” 

She stares at him incredulously, like she can't believe anyone could dislike Karkat.

When he leaves she looks rather small and sad. 

He asks Terezi about her, vaguely.   
He's remarkably not mean to Karkat for about two days.

(He meets her once more, later, and he thinks she might have been hunting him, because it can't just be luck. 

He might have become a bit more favourable towards Karkat, and he doesn't even realize it until she points it out. 

She seems amused, fond even, and delights at Karkat's changes in character. Dave doesn't feel like he mentioned any, but well. 

She grins at him with her dead eyes and there's a lot of encouragement and a hidden bit of hatred in there. Dave doesn't see her again.)

 

Moirails, Rose explains to him one day as they lie drowsily on her bed (he cherishes these quiet moments with his ecto-sister so much, but it's not his place to steal her), are not just friends. They're like siblings. You would stop your moirail from killing and you would kill for them. You trust them to have your back no matter what. 

Dave looks at her tiny frame and her teasing smile and thinks that sometimes Rose needs protecting from the world (and herself). 

For a while, though, after, he thinks that might be it. If he has to force himself to admit, bit by bit, that he might be a tiny bit interested, then he figures it might be that. Of all of those, it seems most likely, really.

He remembers their tentative conversations on the meteor (wow, that was long ago) and when he suddenly realized they were friends. He remembers seeing Karkat's eyes flash when they saw Gamzee, and grabbing his arm to hold him back. He remembers Karkat throwing him off Dirk, remembers getting shaken until he'd finally snapped out of it, remembers the absent-minded way his hair got patted.

Diamonds, really, doesn't seem that much of a stretch.

The only problem is that he's pretty sure when you're pale for someone you don't want to make out with them.

–--

“Diamonds?” Kanaya suggests a few days later, their voices hushed. Roxy is asleep on the sofa not far away, the sound of Princess Bride faded in the background.

“I thought, yeah.” Karkat says. “Some of it is pretty disgustingly pale.”

Kanaya laughs, because he sounds kind of grossed out by it, and also kind of proud of it. 

“And yet...?” She prods. Karkat scowls. 

“I'm afraid it goes too red for that. No one in a pale quadrant stutters and blushes because of their moirail.”

“You don't say.” 

She might sound a bit smug, but still, Karkat definitely wins this round too, because the next thing he says, semi-nonchalantly, is: “Besides, if I'm pale for anyone it would be you, of course.”

Kanaya splutters and glows white. 

When Rose walks in later she spares one look at her companion, currently very aggressively patting Karkat's hair while he tries to continue “friend proposing” (with little success), and walks straight out again. Roxy, half awake, waves at her back.

From behind her, she hears Karkat, between snickers, try to inform Kanaya of his honourable intentions. 

“...And we will become a family, bound by sister or brotherhood or whatever- hey, get off!- and nothing will ever ruin our friendsh- AGH!”


	4. No chance, no way, I won't say...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...that I'm fluuuushed.  
>  Dave isn't, really. Kind of. Mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> closer to the goal now kids

And then there was the flushed quadrant. 

There wasn't much to consider here, really. 

It was the basic concept of 'tru luv omg!!!' that people were so obsessed with on Earth and Alternia alike. 

It was what Rose felt when she looked at their resident lightbulb, or what Dirk and the dork (totally a great name, it worked, ok) had managed to obtain. 

Dave and Terezi had kind of tried, he guessed, but it obviously hadn't...worked.

It might have worked if they'd tried later, but they didn't, and besides he's glad she's just a friend, now. Well, she's more than just a friend, she's a really close friend, his best troll buddy. Well, ok, best troll buddy after Karkat, but Karkat's different, anyway.

That's kind of the point, Strider, focus.

Dave's not, like, a closet romantic. If he got someone a bouquet they would laugh. Romance movies bore him to death. Romance novels are even worse. He'll ironically write about them, or something, but otherwise? No.

Karkat is, of course, but not in the sense that if he were, perhaps, in some kind of quadrant that just so happened to be red, he would expect Da-someone to act like a character from “Wherein a young lowblood embarks on a journey to a new land to escape the poverty brought by the tyrannical highblood reign and meet a highblood who is trying to escape the boredom of entering a flushed quadrant with another highblood that her lusus wanted her to pail for reasons....” (the titanic. that works.)

They're very casual. They bicker constantly, and sometimes they argue, and sometimes they spar, but most of the time they lie around chatting or watching some terrible movie. It's awesome.

And yet, Dave is the most embarrassing, uncool, sad piece of trash around him. He doesn't mean to- if anything, he tries to be cooler than usual (it fails). But still, sometimes Karkat gets a little cocky and Dave gets a little flustered, and sometimes Karkat looks like some anime pretty type instead of a grumpy (adorable) troll and he kind of forgets what he wants to say, and sometimes someone catches him staring for no reason whatsoever, and sometimes.

He's bad at dealing with things he can't control. Terezi was under control, because way before meeting IRL they'd established what was going to happen. He did not have that luxury with Karkat. Instead, he is horribly exposed- meaning that when Karkat unexpectedly does or says something that makes his brain die, he has no way to regain control. 

And everyone knows, or insinuates- Rose with her smiles and John's comments and Jade's frankly outrageous mimes, or even people like Dirk with his raised eyebrows (and Vriska, screw Vriska, with her crass gestures and smirk). Terezi's probably the worst, though. Dave should have expected her to ship it. To make it worse, she's as blunt as always. Dave doesn't get winks from her. Dave gets scenarios. 

As much as he loves Terezi, “Some things are plain uncivilized, Pyrope!” should maybe become his new motto, because honestly, throwing yourself on top of people and asking: “So are you two screwing yet or is it still just...staring at people's butts.” is not okay.

Especially when Karkat just groans and buries his face in the grass, and his hair is basically on Dave's face, and what were they talking about again-

Okay, so maybe he has a bit of a huge, mortifying, let-us-pray-to-the-gods-rose-is-too-busy-to-analyse-this kind of crush. 

God damn it.

–--

“It's not completely flushed, either. If at all.” Karkat says, shaking his damp hair out of his face. It is ridiculously warm, and ridiculously rainy. Kanaya's clothes feel like leeches.

“What's the 'if at all' bit for?” 

Karkat shrugs, eyes a bit tired. “What do you think?”

She grabs his shoulders, looks him in the eyes: “Name one person apart from yourself that doesn't like you. One.”

He stiffens. 

“I'm waiting.”

“Lord English.” 

His sarcastic grumbling doesn't deter her. “Wrong. He even drew terrible fanart of you and Dave.”

“Jane. Jake. Roxy. Dirk.”

“Spent hours baking you a cake for your sign day, loves everyone, has decided to adopt you into the 'Strilonde' club along with me, very clearly ships you with his brother.”

“Vriska.”

“Doesn't really like anyone apart from herself, but prefers you to many.”

He scowls: “And why does everyone like me so much, oh great a wise one?”

“You may be a bit of an asshole, but much less than most of us, and you've got a heart of gold. Everyone around knows that you love everyone fiercely, and that-”

“Okay, okay!” He's half laughing, hiding his face under his hair. When he looks up his mouth is fixed in that crooked smile of his.

The smile reminds her of Terezi's golden rule about liking Karkat: once he's done that smile, you're lost forever. That was near the end of the meteor voyage, she thinks- all of them laughing together, and Dave had snorted incredulously. Kanaya had thought “Just you wait, boy.”

It had happened, of course- Karkat had come in and they'd shut up, and then halfway during the movie Dave had started one of those ridiculous speeches of his that accidentally ended up being really funny. Kanaya had been giggling, clutching Rose's arm, and she'd followed Dave's eyes as Karkat half-smiled.

She'd seen Rose lose track of a clever speech (oh, boy, had she), as she started fumbling with words, forgetting the aim of her sentence- but Dave, apparently, just choked on air and lost his train of thought. 

No one else had noticed why Dave had stopped but Kanaya- she'd given him a pointed look as he turned away guiltily, and she swears to this day his ears turned red. 

Still, she'd spent a lot of the movie whispering to Rose as Dave's eyes kept wandering back. And if she was a little smug, then hey- screw the haters.

She smiles as she thinks back, and Karkat frowns at her.

“What's so funny?”

“You know, Karkat, I think I know exactly what's been going on here.”


	5. Karkat fucking Vantas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave is really just very okay with anything if it's for Karkat Vantas, in the end.

Dave has barely finished musing when a series of sharp knocks startles him. He's about to sit up from where he's lying, head resting somewhere on John's leg, when Jade gets up not far away and stumbles towards the door.

They do this quite often, nowadays, the Beta kids- sleep in the same room, vaguely mixed up together. It's comforting- John's whooshes of air as he breathes steadily, and the faint gleaming from Rose's direction, and Jade's ears twitching as she snores softly. And there are the midnight talks, of course- all of them at once, or three, or two. John is often first to fall asleep, so Dave talks a lot with the girls- either way, it's safe, and whenever one of them sits up, shaking with a suppressed fear, there's someone else nearby. Now, in the dark, Dave can see the dark of John's arm next to the paleness of Rose's- her hair gleams by the top of the pillow bed they assembled.

Jade, meanwhile, is yawning as she wanders over to open the door. Her masses of mussed up hair don't quite conceal the two, white, pointy ears sticking out from her head, and her green tank top and blue boxer shorts don't really help disguise the fact she's just woken up. Dave wonders if she can tell he's awake- probably. Jade, he thinks, is maybe still the strongest of all of them.

The door opens, and he lies still to hear the hushed voices.

“Hey, Karkat.” Jade says, half-asleep. “Nice of you to drop by this fine 3 am.”

“It's 7 am, actually.” Karkat says just as Dave thinks it. And then he stills because it's Karkat, and he always seems to arrive just when Dave's been thinking about incriminating things.

“Right.” Jade laughs. “Are you here to deliver breakfast? I'm pretty sure I asked for a hot maid.” 

“I am way too expensive for you, Harley.” Karkat says, all mocking affection. Jade snickers, and Dave feels embarrassingly fond of all of them. He has to stop himself from doing something stupid like hugging John's leg (which would, in fact, be really stupid, because John kicks in his sleep).

“All right, whaddya want, Vantas? Dave's been eaves-dropping since the moment you arrived, so...”

Dave stiffens, then sits up and scowls when Karkat snorts: “Yeah, no kidding.”

“Hey, Dave.” Jade calls as he gets up and stretches.

“What now?” His voice sounds a little rough, and not from sleep, but he runs his fingers through his hair and slips his shades on regardless, thankful that he's not shirtless for this one occasion.

“Can we talk?” Karkat says, a little hesitant, and Jade's eyes gleam green as she watches them.

“Sure.” Dave says, casual as fuck, and does not in any way squirm when he pauses next to a smirking Jade by the door.

“Later, Harley.” 

Jade winks in a way that makes her look disturbingly like Jake and pushes herself off the door frame.

When she leaves, Dave finds himself looking down at a scarily serious Karkat.

–-----

“So.” He ventures as they sit outside, next to some old tree-ish plant with painfully bright leaves.

He has a vague idea of what's going to happen, but he still feels like he's been electrocuted when Karkat starts off with: “I think we should clarify our relationship status.”

Okay, wow. Dave's pretty sure his heart's not meant to be going this fast. Or beating so loudly. And he thinks breathing might be a good idea. 

“Dave?”

“Mhhhm.” 

“Dave.”

“Yes, I agree with this idea. Good idea. One hundred percent backing you up here.”

“Strider.”

Karkat sounds more normal when he's exasperated, so Dave regains some sort of calm.

“Okay, yeah.”

Karkat speaks fast, eyes intent, as if he's daring himself to mess up.

“Look, I think it's been getting obvious to anyone with some kind of intellectual capacity-which includes you, by the way- that we've been getting way out of your “friend” zone. And I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, and I've been talking with Kanaya, and, well.”

He pauses, and Dave nods, feeling both dizzy and calm. He's happy they're reaching a decision, honestly, and that they're making it happen, but he's also kind of overwhelmed because KARKAT beep beep beep alert alert so he just goes: “Hey, you know I suck at quadrants. Your move.”

Karkat frowns, and then sighs like some romantic heroine, and that does not in anyway make Dave's stomach perform an acrobatic pirouette of any kind. 

“I though about it, too, you know. And I...I think...”

Dave wants to tell him that he hasn't found a quadrant that fits, and that he's kind of scared, but he figures that Karkat knows better- he just wants him to make the choice, and to give him something concrete because he's not very sure this isn't a dream.

He wants to keep quiet and let it happen, but instead he speaks over Karkat, quick and incomprehensible.

“I think I’m like all the quadrants for you.”

“I don't think any quadrant really- Wait, what?”

They stare, and blink, and then Karkat laughs, soft and shortly. Dave really wants to kiss him.

“So, what, we're doing that serendipity thing now? And it's a troll/human thing? Blasphemy, I tell you.” He says it in a voice he doesn't recognize, much too teasing and light.

“I think I might be a bit done with quadrants.” Karkat says, easily, scrutinizing him.

“Good.” Dave says, a bit too emphatically.

Karkat laughs again, then looks at him in that way Karkat looks at people sometimes, like he's so much older and more important and knows everything about them, sees all their thoughts and understands everything, and still wants to know more.

When he says it, he says it so fiercely that Dave can tell he's scared, and his voice kind trembles when he does.

“I think, Dave,” Karkat Vantas tells him, firmly, “I think I'm very much in human love with you.”

Dave stops breathing for a moment, and Lord English could come dance the salsa right in front of him now and he wouldn't even notice, because he feels like he's been set on fire, and it almost hurts, and he's kind of scared, really, he's never wanted to fall this hard, and god, is he crying? He thinks he might be crying, what the fuck

“Yeah.” Dave chokes out, “Yeah, me too, fuck. Fuck.”

And then he does kiss him, finally, and he is crying, a bit, but that's fine.

Karkat steps back and looks at him, and he's smiling so hard Dave thinks it must hurt.

“Hi.” He says, almost giddily.

“Hey.” Dave says, a bit teary, and smiling too, and his shades are in Karkat's hands and he doesn't even worry about it. He feels like all his senses have mutated, into some super aware form, where he can't stop his brain from thinking about Karkat's flushed cheeks and glinting eyes and how they're standing close enough that he can feel the heat coming from him and his lips are tingling and he can almost hear Karkat's heartbeat and 

He grabs him and kisses him again, and again, and then Karkat pulls him into a rib crushing hug and laughs into his shoulder and Dave grips him to him, and thinks back to everything-

the start and meeting John and Jade and Rose and SBURB and pesterlogs and Bro and the game and Godtier and trolls and the meteor and the reunion and the fighting and fighting and fighting and then-

“I'm so happy, shit, Karkat,” he manages, and he doesn't know how to say it, for once, he can't talk properly. Karkat hiccoughs, says: “I love you.” like it's a different language, and then they're both laughing, and Dave is like embarrassingly happy right now, so he grabs Karkat and spins him around, whooping.

Karkat shrieks, half with indignation half with laughter, and holds on tight, and he spins them around once, twice, thrice until they stumble and collapse, almost giggling.

“I hate you.” Karkat says, breathless, the most blatant lie Dave has ever heard.

Dave wants to say it back, but even as a joke, Karkat's hair is messily hanging into his eyes, and his eyes are shining, so he only kind of swallows and stares.

“I don't.” 

Karkat blinks in surprise, and then grins, and grabs his hands.

“Yeah, me neither.”

That, of course, is when Roxy runs out, cheering, followed by everyone ever, and crushes them both to her, almost teary-eyed.

“We've got out final Strilonde!” 

Karkat laughs, again, but he doesn't shake her off, and he doesn't let go of Dave's hand.

“Long time coming?”

“Way too long.” Dirk agrees, standing next to them with half a smile. His cool facade is ruined when Roxy releases them to crush him instead, exclaiming loudly: “Oh, Dirk, they're all grown up, now! Can you believe it?”

She snickers when he blushes, and then Dave gets jumped on by Terezi, who's positively hysterical, whooping victoriously and louder than anyone else, and Rose is giggling nearby and John is crowing with laughter and Jade is shouting and Karkat kind of half digs his nails into his hand and Dave laughs, loud and clear, and feels horrendously like a rom-com character.

Alien romance, in all actuality, was never the problem.

He's okay with all of it for Karkat Vantas.

 

(Later, he lies on the couch with Karkat sprawled over him, bickering about the movie to watch, and Karkat pecks him on the nose to distract him and steal the remote- it totally works, sadly, and Jade and John chorus a 'gaaaaayyyy' as he flips them off, and Kanaya and Karkat snicker, exchanging a glance, and he figures he'd be okay with almost anything for Karkat Vantas.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay  
> this was a very short fic and very quickly written hahhh

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr at quidfree.tumblr.com  
> leave kudos and comments and i will probably do nothing but might also write more


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